Idiots on Parade – Why I Hate Shopping for Food

I hate grocery stores. Unlike most places were people shop, grocery stores do not have a specific demographic they cater to – everyone needs food.  One would think that with so many different kinds of people gathering in one place, there would be multitudes of different kinds of behavior, but this is not so.  My theory is that no matter how capable or intelligent a person is, once he passes through the magic soul-sucking automatic doors into the over-stimulated, air-conditioned maze, he is miraculously dumbed down to the lowest common denominator.

I shop at a Ralph’s down the street from my house.  Though not the ritziest of grocery stores, it’s incredibly convenient in location and the fact that I’m familiar with the layout – meaning I should, in theory, be able to make my purchases and get home quickly.  This is what came of my intended quick-trip:

  • There were at least three separate incidents of one person blocking the entire aisle while traffic on both sides tries to get by.
  • I had one collision with a child who was sprinting, unsupervised, through the cereal aisle clutching a box of Fruity Pebbles. (For the love of Dog, do not let that child have any more sugar!)
  • There was a woman standing directly in front of the creamer in the coffee section. When I said, “Excuse me, can I just reach behind you to get some creamer?” she responded (I shit you not), “No, you can wait there until I’ve finished selecting which coffee I want.”
  • When I finally made it to the check out, of course the person in front of me had accidentally picked up the wrong ice cream and had to run back to switch it out.  He took about five minutes hemming and hawing over the choices.
  • But the irritation and annoyance was not over – oh no, not even close.  After loading up my truck, returning the cart, and starting the engine, I had to sit in the parking lot for another ten minutes because I was prevented from backing out of the parking space! Some jackass felt he had to block me in while he waited for someone else to load his car.  Apparently the open space three cars down wasn’t good enough.

By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was curl up in my pajamas and never have to interact with another person ever again – or at least never have to go food shopping.  I really do understand why some people hire others to do their grocery shopping for them.  Sadly, as irritating as my trip to Ralph’s was, it doesn’t even come CLOSE to being nearly as ridiculous as a trip to Costco.  Are people assholes in grocery stores all over the country? Or is it just in the SFV?

4 Replies to “Idiots on Parade – Why I Hate Shopping for Food”

  1. The asshole part of it is probably limited to large cities, but people are certainly stupid everywhere, and that’s the underlying problem.

  2. Don’t even get me started on Costco. The closest I have ever been to that store is on the street next to their parking lot……I was lucky to escape with my life.

  3. Sometimes a growl will get people out of your way.

    1. Never really have that problem in grocery stores, but yes Costcos/BJs worldwides are notoriously insane. I sat in a Bjs line for over an hour once.

      Self check out lines are usually a nightmare. Not because of you but the 12 idiots in front of you who use it.

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